Sun, Sand and Porridge


Firstly I must apologise to myself. I promised to write this blog every day, but a weekend with a two year old child does not lend itself to writing.

I also have not told my beautiful life partner Ms Rabbit that I am writing this blog. Mainly because I want to say things about our life (in central Hipsterville) that just would not be conducive to a happy relationship.

This is a secret blog.

Today’s post is about being fat.

In the scheme of things grains ruled the world for a very long time. It was low fat, carb loading that drove the great runners and athletes. Take for example this advice from the BBC about marathon preparation:

Once upon a time I ran triathlons and marathons. Unfortunately for this rabbit the carb loading diet never worked, I would carb load and then spend most of my training runs taking pit stops. It meant my any one I trained with spent a lot of time waiting outside of public toilets for me to finish, which made winter runs very cold, the summer runs unbearably stinky. (Sorry if this is too much information)

Tim Noakes in 1986 wrote a book called “Lore of Running”. It was pioneering with excellent information on the science, training and physiology for preparing and running a marathon.

Interestingly Noakes now advises readers to tear out the section on nutrition. Carbs are the enemy apparently. Like many pieces of advice on diet the nutrition community is slowly changing how we look at healthy food.

To be frank this Rabbit actually does not really care about running marathons (I have no time to train). I also try not to be that worried about weight loss. I am trying to love myself for who I am. A middle aged fat dad with a job, a mortgage and tax to take care of. However in the three days since I have been Fructose free I have noticed my belt has tightened one notch. I haven’t used scales since I jumped on one two months ago and spent the next two weeks feeling so depressed I may as well have hung myself, so I am a little surprised that there has been a miniscule change in my body shape already.

Tim Noakes these days recommends the high fat low carb diet – you can read about it here – I don’t make any recommendations as I have never been able to stick to a diet for more than two weeks. I expect myself to fail at some stage in my quest to cut sugar/fructose from my diet. This experiment is a little different from the real food (I cannot eat onions and garlic for a start) but apart from that they are remarkably similar.

Anyway that leads to my weekend

Firstly on Friday night my students from Beijing and I met in the Chinese quarter of Hipsterville for dinner. Both of these guys are in their twenties and both have done very well for themselves. One of them has a business shipping Australian wine to the UK, China, Hong Kong and New Zealand. He is one of China’s young millionaires and will be a very rich guy by the time he reaches my age.

The other is an accountant and (being a competitive beast) itching to make his fortune also. We ate Korean because the BBQ made me confident of no fructose.

I did not need to be surprised about their reaction to me becoming a Carnivorous Rabbit. They were actually more surprised to see me eating pork.

“Why” I asked

“Aren’t you a Muslim?” the wine importer replied.

The Accountant replied on my behalf “no, he is drinking beer, I can remember from class that he is from German, English ancestors”

Apart from wondering why i would be Muslim, I was surprised about what I had told my class all those years ago. I was also surprised that he had remembered something i had told my class all those years ago.

A certain amount of fear ripped through me because a few years ago I had met him on a business trip and we had gone out drinking. A great deal of alcohol had been consumed and although he had a girlfriend at the time he had left her at home and we were out with three of his female college friends one of which would gone on the become the love of his life.

At the time I did not realise one of the women would be his future wife. Given the amount of drinks we had I worried that I may have hit on her. I have always tried to date women appropriate to my age, but on a night out there is always the chance of a slip.

I was even more worried as he made reference to the night and laughed about it later on.

Did I do something stupid? Let’s face it there is nothing more stupid than a drunk old guy trying to pick up a twenty something on a drunken night out. As I drift through my late forties that I often find myself staring at twenty and thirty something women in a completely inappropriate way for a man in a committed relationship. I notice my friends are the same. Do men get more inappropriate as we get older?

On Saturday my partner Ms Bunny, Baby Bunny and I went to visit friends who live a long way from Hipsterville, in a much, much warmer area right near the beach. It was a afternoon party to welcome back friends who had been living in Spain and New Zealand. What better place to meet up together than a beach house. There were five families, most with kids ranging from eighteen months to nine years old.

It was very hot and the kids had great fun with water guns, ice buckets and the hose. While the adults drank and ate. I had made egg free, dairy free cookies for my daughter and all the kids enjoyed eating them. It is incredibly difficult to make cakes or cookies and not want to taste the mix, but I am very proud to say I did not fall to temptation. The cookies were great and not the kids and adults ate them all up.

Our kids are all thin, but we are all fat, the obesity epidemic that has swept the western world has not spared us. This became especially clear when we hit the beach after lunch. All the men wore t-shirts and the women wore clothes more fitting to a beach party in 1915 rather than 2015. This is mostly because no one wants to get skin cancer, but it also has a lot to do with not being comfortable in your own skin. Wearing a long dress into the water is not practical. Nor is a fully grown male rabbit like me wearing a cotton t-shirt. It just gets wet and does not hide the lumpy bits.

At one stage I was standing next to one of my male friends Damarea (name changed) and he pointed to a woman on the beach wearing a bikini.

“Pretty good view” he said.

“Ahh yes, but we can’t be looking at that” was my reply.

“It doesn’t hurt to look, the eyes are always going to be single” He made the point.

“Yes but, we both have daughters and you wouldn’t want some fat old guys ogling her when she goes to the beach”

“When she is in her twenties are you saying you would not want her to have the kind of body that turns heads?” he asked as his partner swam over to us which stopped the conversation.

There are a few interesting points here.

Firstly I don’t think it is just men that do this. Last year I remember sitting on the beach with my mother as an extremely well built young man came out of the surf wearing only shorts. He was cut, chiselled, the type of male body that turns heads and my mother said.

“Oh my goodness look at that gorgeous looking sexy young man”

“Mum, that is your grandson” I replied as my twenty something nephew walked over to us.

“Oh, it is too” my mother slapped her hand to her mouth in embarrassment.

Are the eyes always single for both sexes?

Do fathers want their daughters to “have the kind of body that turns heads?”

I want my daughter to lead a fulfilling life. What happens if she doesn’t have the type of body that turns heads? I certainly do not want her to have body issues and hate herself every time she looks in the mirror. My partner Ms Rabbit certainly carries a bit of self-loathing when she looks in the mirror and so do I. One thing I do not want to do is pass this on to my daughter. How do you stop it though? The body beautiful is everywhere.

The woman married to Damarea has massive body issues, she is obese and lives most of her life jumping from diet fad to diet fad. We are bombarded with images of perfect bodies on the one hand and food on the other. I have already mentioned a diet, on this blog.

Are real foods the answer or is it another fad.

Either way I have to give up sugar for my own health. I still eat porridge every day. They are carbs. Do I need to live in fear of this?

I fear that body issues are destroying people’s lives more than actually being overweight

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