Who does not like bacon?

My food intolerance app says bacon is OK, Providing it is eaten without bread or fruit. Thus I am chowing down on some very salty bacon as I write.

I have become a person that is writing a blog about the food I am eating. This could be the most boring blog since people started FB’ing their meals. This bunny has existed this year on spinach, beef, tinned tuna, eggs, bacon and a lot of lattes.

I am guessing I will run out of things to talk about pretty soon.

I was surprised to find that this morning I woke up and didn’t feel hungry. I bounded out of bed ready for the first challenge of the year. Mrs Rabbit wanted to have breakfast with me after we had dropped our little bunny at childcare.

Oh the stress of going to breakfast and not being able to eat from the food of the Fructonians.

Last year (I mean the year that just ended on Jan 31. One day ago) I would have inhaled a blueberry, white chocolate muffin and dealt with the subsequent attack of Dreaded Spong. Instead I shared a half a banana (which means I will not eat any other fruit for the next 24 hours) and a piece of french toast made with rice flour bread.

I am worried this has broken my vow even though the App says “no, Mr Rabbit, rice bread is alright for you to eat”.

Rice flour bread kind of tastes like cardboard. French toast without syrup tastes like egg encrusted cardboard. I don’t really have anything else to say about this apart than I am looking forward to porridge next time.

OH MY GOD! Who looks forward to porridge?

This whole blog is going very Dickensian;

I stationed myself so I could watch them make their gruelish porridge at the copper. Mrs Rabbit sat next to me and had French toast covered in a delightful syrup and sugar cream.

“Curse you Mrs Rabbit”, I thought “That’s just what I wanted!”

The porridge was served out and a long curse was muttered. I ate it quickly all the while thinking about Oliver. Like him, I was desperate with hunger, reckless with misery and found myself advancing to the counter to ask the inevitable question:

“Is there more porridge?”

That quote was not from Charles Dickens.

Tonight I am going out. Mrs Bunny who is not a big fan of me catching up with people from my past has kindly given me leave to go and meet some of my old students.

I am not a teacher and nor did I ever aspire to be one. However for a year I taught Marketing, Market Research and Business Research at a university in Beijing. It was an odd period and I lived very hedonistically. As a teacher I was terrible. I only took the job because I wanted to run away from the sales job and bad relationship I had somehow trapped myself in. So jumped on a plane and ran.

My teaching career was more about me getting my head right than imparting the black arts of Marketing and Market Research to my students. I never gave homework, never checked attendance and kept preparation to a minimum. Consequently it surprises me that so many of my students keep in touch, perhaps it is only because I made sure everyone passed at the end of the year. It could also be that I enjoy catching up and I am only too eager to help out when they have issues. Although what they can learn from a meat eating rabbit is questionable.

Tonight I am looking forward to seeing baby photos, wedding photos and the like. Of course I a a little worried about going to dinner and eating free of fructose.

I am worried about how much beer I can drink. My app says 1. Ouch! but I had a half a banana this morning, does that mean no beer at all?? Double ouch!!

Most of all I am worried that when they discover I am no longer the man that taught them in Beijing they will be slightly perturbed, especially when I walk in and they see I have become a rabbit.

What will they think?

4 thoughts on “Bacon

  1. Alright, Mr Rabbit. I’m proud of you for bravely fighting the Fructonians. I’m fighting the Glutonions myself and its a tough battle. I like reading words from the heart and so it doesn’t matter what you say as long as it’s from you. Also fabulous job in Beijing. You’re being modest, I’m certain. And congrats on having an army of former students who love you.


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